What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
