i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
