Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
