You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
