On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
