i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
