So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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