That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
