I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
