You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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