No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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