yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
