The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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