i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
