yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We are two peas in an std pod
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
