uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We talked him into tasing himself.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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