dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
