whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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