and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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