Can Purell be used as lube?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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