My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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