i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
