Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
two words: eviction party
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
