Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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