just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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