I can text with my tongue
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
