No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
