come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
