2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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