Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
