New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
MIDGETS
????
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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