I hate all girls vehemently.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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