she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
