Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
