Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
