Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
