Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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