i think my tv is drunk
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
