I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
