No, drunk sperm still make babies.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
