He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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