On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
