I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
