What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
