I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
