i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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