Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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