This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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