she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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