I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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