he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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