If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
