college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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